Quietly preparing,
at your own pace.

Most homes have one drawer, one inbox, one shoebox. You don't need everything in one day, but you do need to start.

• Locate the last three years of tax returns and notices of assessment
• Find your most recent payslips and your spouse's, if accessible
• Take photos of bank statements, credit cards, and the home loan
• Note super fund names and member numbers for both of you
• Snap the rates notice, car registrations, and any insurance policies

The asset pool is everything jointly and individually, assets, liabilities, super. Build a simple list. You don't need exact numbers yet.

• List property: home, investment property, cars, anything of meaningful value
• List accounts: savings, offsets, term deposits, share trading
• List debts: mortgages, personal loans, credit cards, BNPL, tax debts
• List super for both parties, the biggest forgotten asset
• Note any inheritances, gifts or assets from before the relationship

Before anything formal happens, you want one account in your name only, with a card and online banking that no one else can see.

• Open a transaction account at a different bank from joint accounts
• Set up online banking on a private email address only you use
• Route a small, regular amount in, even $50 a fortnight builds a buffer
• Update statement delivery to email only, no paper at the family address
• Set up two-factor authentication on a phone number only you control

Passwords, shared logins, family devices, small acts of housekeeping that protect your privacy and reduce stress later.

• Change passwords on personal email, super, MyGov and health logins
• Sign out of family iCloud/Google accounts on personal devices
• Turn off shared location services if you'd rather not be tracked
• Move important documents to a private cloud folder
• Save a copy of family photos somewhere only you can reach

Not everyone, just three. A lawyer who specialises in family law, an adviser who understands settlements, and one person you trust.

• Book a confidential first call with FLP Family Law
• Have a quiet conversation with Coastal Advice, no commitment
• Choose one trusted friend or family member as your sounding board
• Keep notes from each conversation in one private notebook or doc
• Decide who you are not yet ready to tell, and that is completely okay

Decisions made when you are exhausted are rarely the decisions you'd make rested. Protecting your bandwidth is a financial act.

• Block 20 minutes a day that is just yours, walk, journal, anything
• Move your GP appointment forward; mental load is a health item
• Identify one non-negotiable expense that keeps you well
• Eat, sleep, hydrate, boring, but it changes every other decision
• Be kind to yourself. You did not cause this and you can navigate it.